Getting a little lost

This is a personal post on growth and reflection. Today is my birthday and I really like to use mile markers (birthdays, anniversaries, New Years) as a time of reflection.

Over the course of your life, you build an identity, you create an image, you try to uphold this image - but as we age we change. Change is good, change is growth and it has been shown that growth over the course (or continuous learning) of a lifetime can lead to tremendous ongoing success.

So why is it so hard to knowingly get lost and change your image or not know your path for a while. Socially, there is a lot of stigma and pressure to be on a "track." For some, you may be praised in the short term for taking a breather or time off...but if you don't find your self in one to three months, you risk becoming a floater in your friends, family, and peers eyes.

A few years ago, I was very lost. I had really lost my way in terms of holding up my values, maintaining a strong self-worth, and relying on a support system of friends, family, and peers. It was hard, I was seemingly doing ok from an external viewpoint - good job, owned a house, seemingly happy home life, a new daughter - so what did I have to complain about.

That's the thing. I didn't have anything to "complain" about. What I did have was some feeling of needing to discover my worth. I used to hang a lot of my worth on athletics. I am 11 years removed from any serious competition. I used to hang my worth on my job. Jobs, even the good ones, are like rollercoaster - there can be a lot of ups and downs. I used to ebb and flow with these changes. I was really coasting, relying on external validation to define my worth. I was being pushed around by the waves of life and my boat was going where it was pushed - this was not the way to a fulfilling life - I was lost.

It would have been ok if I was able to work through being lost, to communicate within a trusted group of people, and to know that my values will maintain while I search for my next challenge. It would have been ok if I knew you were never really lost if you have your values, if you have an internal sense of worth, and if you have the courage to not be perfect.

This post is about growth. I learned over 2 - 3 years of really intentional and hard work the value of pushing yourself, defining your values, understanding your worth from an internal point of validation, and working all the time (outside of your job, outside of your athletics) to learn and grow. Establishing a growth mindset didn't necessarily change my ability to earn a good living, buy nice things, or even have a good social life. A growth mindset DID allow me to appreciate and enjoy my life more (in terms of quality and consistency), understand more about what is important to me, and it created a fulfilling environment that is sustainable, driven by my internal validation.

Here is to another great year of growing, challenging myself, and being true to my values for myself and my family. Here is to being ok with getting lost, but having a strong compass, an incredible crew, and powerful ship to navigate you through as a stronger person.